My Toastie Outlet ♠

oh man..
everyone is busy with their own things..
what more do you expect from a NS man?
i feel i ought to stand up for okana..
oh well..for all i care, crown me the name of bitch..

it was'nt like he does not want to meet up with you guys..(rene & gang)
it was'nt like he can choose what days to book out..
it was'nt like he spends his weekends free..
time just seems to crash whenever you guys want to meet up..
there's nothing much to be done is'nt it?

exactly..
because everyone has got something to be busy about thats why schedule are difficult to plan..
you guys manage to find time to meet up because there are weekdays for you, there are convenience for you..how far do you guys stay apart? think for him.
do you find transportation difficult during mid-night? who has the right to say when there is a vehicle in your group?

& every topic you guys are catching up upon doesnt seems to get through to him..
you guys are talking about it everyday..
what about him?
does he have a single clue?
sometimes he just goes.."what, who are they talking about?"
does'nt that kind of leaves him out too?

apologies,
i think he is just being very frank very "kind enough" to actually apologise when he cant make it.
who goes, "whatever, used to it already." right in his face when he already apologised? don't you guys think its so damn bloody unfair to him when the fact is he really cannot bloody hell make it?
doesnt he wants to join you guys? as far as im concern..he is dying to meet up with you guys and am looking damn forward to the BBQ which was actually held on the 22nd. why do you have to screw him up right in his face?

important...
you guys are darn important to him..
seriosuly he needs you guys..
whatever conflicts fucking shit we had..we do not need to put the load on him..
im fine with you guys refusing to see my face..
im confident in saying he can spend every weekends with you guys and he will be enjoying it!
he doesnt even needs me. and im not controlling him over his schedules.
he is here with me because of company, when he is busy in weekends and functions which im able to participate in. its just a different story compared to friendships.
and there..
you pouring all your cold water on him and saying that you guys aint important to him anymore.
stop all the wild thoughts.

how has he hurt you?
has he hurt you by delibrately pushing away your invitation when he is not free? and actually its not even his personal problem.
has he hurt you when you tell him in his face that he is so screwed up and he is forgetting this group of friends?
has he hurt you by going and celebrating CNY at your house with the group of friends despite its already bloody mid night and he had already spent a whole day out with me? dont you think he is damn tired?
has he?
i do not know why in the fuck hell do you have to put it such a way that he is the only one at fault..
why?

he taught me to look at the positive side, the good side of people.
never to dig negatives about people..look at the good side..
he taught me to throw negative remarks away and let me have the clear vision of everyone being a saint.
he looks at this group of friends with no faults no nothing against them..
what have you?
jon isnt as childish as you think he is now..
have you learn anything?
have you learn that you need to be supportive as friends?
not finding fault in one..

im so sorry that i had to pen this down..
yeahh, you can still continue to crown me bitch or perhaps you can change your perception on me..and your dear friend jonathan.